Hey guys.
I don't post here a lot but this site has been, pretty much, my savior this last year. I've been battling alcoholism ferociously, on and off through 2010-2014. It's been extremely difficult to say the least. This forum, it's content, the nice people that reside here... It's overwhelming how positive of an impact this place has had on me. This hobby is getting me through the hardest time in my life. Self-esteem is important once you realize it's gone you know... Of course, to top off this year, last night I found out my girlfriend of 4 years was doing the boogie-woogie with my best friend and drummer. Needless to say my insides are in knots at the moment. I've been staring at the wall behind my desk for the last 24 hours just like... WTF.
I found out I'm not eligible for student loans to get back to school (don't fuck your life up kids), so I've had to scrape every penny (sacrificing sweet builds) to barely get away with paying my way into a lame community college. I live in New Mexico where minimum wage is low, jobs are few, people are in need, and if you don't have a degree/certification you're just S.O.L. I'm embarrassingly grateful Taco Bell called me in for an interview, haha.
Anyway, enough pity party. I'm going to get my soldering certification at that lame community college here. Hopefully be moving out and moving on from this toxic relationship. I can say one thing for sure... This place has been nothing but a positive note in this grueling year for me and I'm absolutely grateful for it.
Love your family guys. Love your friends. Go get what you want/need to support the ones you love. I, for one, am pushing my hardest to be a shining light this next year.
Merry Christmas. I'm thankful for the all mighty BEAN, his forum, the builds, the people. It's silly to say, but building pedals has damn near saved my existence and well-being.
My "friends" will still be getting coal for presents though, haha!
PEACE NAMASTE LOVE PASSION DIY
-Max
Max,
Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Truthfully, there are no "words of wisdom" I can share that would matter. Holidays can be hard especially when you are in a bad place. I guess the only thing I can say is that nothing is permanent. Nothing stays bad forever. Hang in there. If all else fails there is one prescription for elevating your spirit: do something nice for someone. It works, trust me. If if only for a little while.
In the meantime, PM your shipping info. I'm going to send you some extra Xmas cheer!
Brian
Hang in there, bud. We're going to be rooting for you.
We joke a lot about this hobby being a time and money sink to make toys, but the knowledge and experience is really a very useful thing to focus on, especially if you can take that focus to school and get things going.
Best of luck.
Wow Brian. I don't know what to say... other than I feel accepted, especially coming from the big guy. Thank you, from the whole of my heart. I truly mean it.
<3
I'm going to take you up on your advice and give my last $13.00 to this poor homeless women who shuffles down our alley everyday. She has it A LOT harder than me, whatever choices she made in life... so what. She could probably use my 10* rated sleeping bag this winter more than I do.
Thank you.
<3
Hang in there sounds cliche, but sometimes it's all you can do. It sounds like you are focusing your attention on positive growth at a time when it would be easy to pick up a bottle. That takes tremendous strength and I hope you can stay with it because I think the path you have chosen could make things better.
Good luck with everything. Stay strong, happy and safe these holidays. As jubal said, knowledge isn't always expensive and now sounds like a good time to focus on learning new skills.
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Hey Max, hang in there... the rough moments of our life makes us grow in the end and acquire positive experience afterward if the will to take it over is there. Couple years ago this hobby have also helped me keeping my head in one piece.... one of those era where when you think that you're at the lowest you can be... another deeper hole is awaiting for you... But sharing, building, learning... keeping the focus on stuff that distract you from a sometime unpleasant reality is the best thing to do.
Even if the bulb is blowed at the end of that never ending dark corridor, make your way through it and change that damn bulb! ;D
Rej
Damn y'all. This place is incredible. It's making me all :'( and all :D Hopefully my PM to Brian went through. There's this little "adolescent center" that takes in misled youth from bad (mostly abusive) parents, life given lemons, etc... It's right down the road from me. Whatever he sends me will be built and go directly to their music program. Watch out for a build report!
In the meantime here's another sweet jam by Jon Gomm. A hero of mine. Here's to looking up.
Like others have said, Its hard to wrap up anything in words that I would feel would directly help you. I have seen really good friends battle alcoholism and its a hard, but rewarding road to recovery. I really feel for you, to have to go through this and then have other problems around you is a huge blow to the head. It sounds like, from your comments, that you are heading in the right direction and wanting to better yourself. Keeping yourself emerged in a hobby is a great way to focus on something else other than problems on hand and also gets you to build some new relationships with others.
I look forward to seeing your builds.
Keep your head up.
Cody
As others have said, it's great that you're looking for the positives and to better yourself in the future.
One of my cousins became addicted to prescription pain killers after having an operation, and battled his addiction for several years, relapsing a few times when life got hard, etc. He has been clean for a few years now, married, 2 kids, and said he could never have imagined what his life is like now when he was battling it, but it can be done so stay strong.
Can you PM me your address as well? I'll send over a couple of powder coated enclosures to go with Brians boards for the community centre. This forum helped keep me sane when I was miserable living with my ex who also cheated on me, and 1 member especially (you know who you are!). And it's nice to give back to the community occasionally :)
But keep your head up and always look for the positives in life :)
I'm overwhelmed by the amount of comments and PM's guys. Life got a little lighter because of you. It's great to hear from you all, all of you. The Center will have some new, mega sweet gear headed their way. Don't worry, we all have our issues but I can say for a fact I can build a clean pedal for the little ones.
A+ humans, you beans, you guys.
<3
Max
EDIT// Are people getting my PM's back? I'm not seeing any 'sent' PM's in my box.
I really suck at giving comfort, and the others have said almost everything that could be said about.
Just wanted you to know we are here for what you need.
I've found shelter here many times before too.
Quote from: SmoothAction on December 25, 2014, 12:27:41 AM
EDIT// Are people getting my PM's back? I'm not seeing any 'sent' PM's in my box.
Yeah I got your PM, but I'll have to reply to it tomorrow as it's 1am here and I've sleepy lol
+1 with micromegas, I suck at trying to console people but can honestly say that my life has had major ups and downs. Being part of a church band has had a major impact on me and while I don't pretend to understand your situation it's worth looking into. Church that is, being in the band is just icing on the cake.
I CAN tell you that this hobby has been my greatest asset and got me into more trouble than you can imagine at the same time. I relish the time I can wrap my head around projects. At the same time I become obsessed with projects and...
Hang in there pal. Nothing sappy about your situation. I'd be most proud to own a piece of coal you've touched. This hobby is all about learning, acceptance, and community. Qualities that are becoming increasingly rare.
Passionflower is a great tune. Blows my mind every time. It's very inspirational.
Good luck with the battles you're facing. You seem like a tough dude, so I'm sure you'll overcome.
Quote from: madbean on December 24, 2014, 09:55:03 PM
In the meantime, PM your shipping info. I'm going to send you some extra Xmas cheer!
Me too. PM your address. I'll make up a goodie box with parts and stuff so that you can keep on building while you pay for college.
The first year of my sobriety was the hardest...but worth every shed tear. Stay strong. Love how you've let us all in to your pain. Do the same in your 'real' community. I couldn't have done it alone. My recovery friends are some of dearest friends:)
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Hang in there...time moves on...wounds heal...
Life is short, enjoy the small things.
Prayers for you and your situation.
I have the Thunderbird PCB's on the way. I'd like to send you everything you need to build one up when they come in. A complete kit! (enclosure, bits, and all) You can sell it for college funds, keep it to play, or donate it to the music center. Just PM me your info. I believe I may have your address already but send it anyhow.
Josh
Sobriety is worth it.... Hang in there
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Praying for you brother
Hang in there. Had a few friends go your route and they survived! Pm me your info. I have so wtih for you. Happy holidays!
JR
This has been an incredible 24hrs, friends. The amount of support and positive words here has been nothing short of amazing... I must admit I've been staring at my wall again, not out of WTF, but the kindness of others. It's rendered me speechless and brought a few very happy little tears to my eyes. I don't know what to really say even... other than what we have here reaches far beyond building pedals.
I've decided to swing by the center today and drop off this little guy. It's simply an EA tremolo, as I thought the kids would like something more "obvious". We all love our transparent overdrives with clean blends and active EQ sections, but somehow I don't think the kids would appreciate it as much as we do haha.
I put it together in Eagle (thank you Jkokura for the tutorials, that's a gift that keeps giving) and got them fabbed at OSHpark a while ago, but never had the motivation to build it up. I had to sacrifice some other builds for parts to get it together but it sounds great. I can't wait to see them plug it in. I don't have a spare power supply so I need to tack on a battery snap before I head down there, I found one in some old alarm clock in my garage.
Guys, this has been nothing short of an amazing experience. The generosity here has truly blown my mind, I can't wait to turn around and spread it to others. You have picked up someone who has fallen and given the support to keep fighting the good fight.
Bless you guys, man. Merry Christmas. You don't know how much this has helped. Spread the love today, I know I will be.
-Max
(https://scontent-b-lax.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1546360_747193525350436_8875363348980149597_n.jpg?oh=c278e1eec210259ddb9c84a2b4736ed1&oe=55373957)
Beautifully built!! Gorgeous layouts. Why am I not switching to white wire? :)
PM me your address too. I would love to help. I have a few boards that I could part with especially for a good cause.
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Hey Max,
You have come to the right place. This forum and its people are quite amazing and you fit in here perfectly. Sorry to hear life's been handing you lemons. I consider my self pretty lucky generally. I'm sending you some of my luck vibes. Trust me, these vibes are like...A Grade, 100% money back guaranteed. They'll work ;-)
Hope things improve mate
Paul
Hey y'all, little update. The kids really like the pedal (especially turning the rate knob with their foot), unfortunately the 1/4" cable I gave them is crapping out so I'll have to get another one for em' or fix that one. Either way it's all good. They also lost all the picks too, just like a real guitar player.
I was asking about maybe helping out with their music program. I'd be working for free, but I'd rather be there teaching little ones how to shred gnarly licks than at my house with the cheater. We'll see what happens after the new year, but it would be pretty cool. They don't have enough funding for anything really, so I would have to supply pretty much everything. That's ok though.
Anyways, the dark stale hole I was in a few days ago is starting to fade. I really appreciate the kind words guys. I really do just have to hang in there. Looking to move out with a good buddy for a bit while I work at Taco Bell :-[ for the time being.
Bless y'all man. Every f'n one of you.
<3