madbeanpedals::forum

General => Open Discussion => Topic started by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 03:03:10 PM

Title: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 03:03:10 PM
Hi everybody... ..it's been a while!

I don't really know where to start since there's so much that have been happening, wich have lead to my "decline" if i can say so.

First, i meant for a long time now to make this thread, give some explanation but i was'nt able, a mix of ego, pride, shame, anxiety... was keeping me from acting.

I have to sincerly thank Dave (pickdropper) for his constant communication with me, as i was'nt answering anyone else.... ...thing that should'nt, that. He truly helped me have some confidence into confronting myself and do what i'm doing right now.

So yeah... long story short...
After 3.5 years of working up North, Fly-In jobs, getting back home and working aswell it slowly drifted me away from building, working on new projects, in the end all my motivation was gone, for pretty much everything in life.
I sure was fooling around with my Jeep and later on with my car... ...as some of you have probably seen on Facebook... ...that acted as a "plaster" as i need to be busy with stuff, but i need concrete results and satisfaction in the little time that i was off...

Anyway... this past summer i've come to a dead end... ...i've quited my job up in the Arctic, the morning i was suppose to leave house to go at the airport, i made the biggest anxiety crisis i ever had... ...and ended at the hospital.
The sum of this... ...is that i have "confined depression", after lots of meetings with specialist and what not, going back in my past... ...it was making many years that i was'nt in a good mental health... ...and that i should have reached for help sooner, wich i now did and continue too.

The consequence is that i had to completely stop my job up North, wich was a bit hard for me, as i'm a hardworker and put lots of pride in that, feeling weak is a thing, admitting and assuming it... ...is the hardest part, i have yet to come over that part.

I'm pretty sure that there's a big mixmatch of feelings towards me in regards of my "let go" and i totally understand it. I'm not writing this thread to get apologize or whatever, i'm doing it for me... ...so i can just feel better about it and feel better for all the people that have put enormous work into  GCFX, truth be told, if it was'nt of the crew, nothing would have happened with that endehavior of mine... ...so yeah, feel free to express yourself, in a nice or mean manner, it's all good! ;)

As i'm writing this, the website is being put back online, i'll make an effort to get stocked again on the many projects and mostly, offer support over here for those who build our stuff. That is my main goal.

ApetoneFX (Jubal81 projects) will no longer be on the page, there's still un-settled matters between me and Jason and that also need to be "fixed".

I know this is all erratic, but it's the best i could do to express myself about this subject, at least i've shown up...

Cheers!

Rej
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: pickdropper on February 01, 2018, 03:07:05 PM
Welcome back, Rej.  I’m happy to see you around here again.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: blearyeyes on February 01, 2018, 03:11:31 PM
Hi everybody... ..it's been a while!

I don't really know where to start since there's so much that have been happening, wich have lead to my "decline" if i can say so.

First, i meant for a long time now to make this thread, give some explanation but i was'nt able, a mix of ego, pride, shame, anxiety... was keeping me from acting.

I have to sincerly thank Dave (pickdropper) for his constant communication with me, as i was'nt answering anyone else.... ...thing that should'nt, that. He truly helped me have some confidence into confronting myself and do what i'm doing right now.

So yeah... long story short...
After 3.5 years of working up North, Fly-In jobs, getting back home and working aswell it slowly drifted me away from building, working on new projects, in the end all my motivation was gone, for pretty much everything in life.
I sure was fooling around with my Jeep and later on with my car... ...as some of you have probably seen on Facebook... ...that acted as a "plaster" as i need to be busy with stuff, but i need concrete results and satisfaction in the little time that i was off...

Anyway... this past summer i've come to a dead end... ...i've quited my job up in the Arctic, the morning i was suppose to leave house to go at the airport, i made the biggest anxiety crisis i ever had... ...and ended at the hospital.
The sum of this... ...is that i have "confined depression", after lots of meetings with specialist and what not, going back in my past... ...it was making many years that i was'nt in a good mental health... ...and that i should have reached for help sooner, wich i now did and continue too.

The consequence is that i had to completely stop my job up North, wich was a bit hard for me, as i'm a hardworker and put lots of pride in that, feeling weak is a thing, admitting and assuming it... ...is the hardest part, i have yet to come over that part.

I'm pretty sure that there's a big mixmatch of feelings towards me in regards of my "let go" and i totally understand it. I'm not writing this thread to get apologize or whatever, i'm doing it for me... ...so i can just feel better about it and feel better for all the people that have put enormous work into  GCFX, truth be told, if it was'nt of the crew, nothing would have happened with that endehavior of mine... ...so yeah, feel free to express yourself, in a nice or mean manner, it's all good! ;)

As i'm writing this, the website is being put back online, i'll make an effort to get stocked again on the many projects and mostly, offer support over here for those who build our stuff. That is my main goal.

ApetoneFX (Jubal81 projects) will no longer be on the page, there's still un-settled matters between me and Jason and that also need to be "fixed".

I know this is all erratic, but it's the best i could do to express myself about this subject, at least i've shown up...

Cheers!

Rej
Ahh.. Rej! So good to have you back. You've been missed by a lot of people.  I get what you are going through. I did the same thing. Crashed and burned. After 10 years of being a forensic video examiner I could not work anymore.  Too much stress anxiety and ugly law enforcement videos. I started drinking vodka into oblivion. Finally had to get help and I am glad I did.   I hope you get back on your feet. Just know that there are a lot of people that give a sh*t about you.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: brucer on February 01, 2018, 03:41:22 PM
Nice to hear from you Rej.  Sorry to hear that you hit a low point, but very good to hear that you've started the journey back to a positive place.  Best positive thoughts to you on that process. 

The fall can be hard (I know from experience), but be kind to yourself.  You're not alone in reaching that low point, nor in finding your way back.  People care about you and things will knit themselves together again.  For real.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: selfdestroyer on February 01, 2018, 03:41:48 PM
Welcome back Rej, missed your brother! Time to continue destroying the earth with sonic destruction!

If you need ANYTHING just holler!

Cody
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: m-Kresol on February 01, 2018, 03:49:36 PM
glad to have you on here again and best of luck with all of your future endeavors. I hope everything turns back to normal for you.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: Adam_MD on February 01, 2018, 03:52:47 PM
Welcome back Rej.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: gordo on February 01, 2018, 03:55:55 PM
Holy shit Rej!!!  You've been VERY missed around here and regardless of Grind it's just nice to have you back.  No apologies, no expectations, no pressure...just work on getting yourself well again.  This is a good day!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: jimilee on February 01, 2018, 04:03:15 PM
HEY REJ!!!!! First let me say that it’s great to see you back! I can speak for a lot of us when I say that we were worried and brought it up once or twice, and hoped you were ok. There are some of us that are relieved to see you and know you’re alright.
 Secondly, don’t be ashamed of it, it happens to a lot of us, I am currently taking 3x the normal dose for anxiety myself.
You sir are still among friends, and a whole bunch of new faces too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 04:24:15 PM
Much thanks for the comments and positive vibes, i really do appreciate it a lot, means the world to me....

But yeah, this ain't a coming back like: "I'll build 5 pedals a day and pull out a new design/product a week" thingy...
My goal is to genuinely bring back the good service i used to offer, before starting those FlyIn jobs.  I'm now in charge of the shipping wich have been a constant issue since i had an intermediate to take care of that.

But! Not right of now, but in a very close future, i'll be popping up some builds.... ....there's stuff that i've meant to build for ages and have'nt got into...

Also, i have to stock-up the store again and pay some bills within the GCFX crew/setup, so i'll put together my biggest PCB sale ever... ...i have 300+ projects from all over the place, sitting and seeing no use... some are pretty rare or no longer produced.

Part of that sale is also to finance the re-stock of the STM800 project and it's attached project aswell.... ....this is the most important (to me) project that we've ever put together and it sort of left a mark in the DIY community... ...got to make this great again...

I know that through my writings, lots is buisness focused, but it's a major concern for me, it's reputation, it's the collective effort of people i cherrish and i absolutely don't want all that work and awesome to be left in the dark.



Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: madbean on February 01, 2018, 04:43:20 PM
Very glad to see you back, Rej. I was worried you might have actually turned into a Jeep!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 04:55:03 PM
Very glad to see you back, Rej. I was worried you might have actually turned into a Jeep!

Thanks Brian, it could have happened but just before the mutation i've lost the garage i was renting.... ...i might turn into a Nissan/Infiniti tho... ...the drawback of being a "petrol head".

Much thanks for still hosting our section despite my very long absence, means a lot!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: BrianS on February 01, 2018, 05:27:25 PM
Glad to see you back at this.  I didn’t read any of the other replies so if this is repeated sorry.  You confronted personal problems, aired them out and explained what was going on.  That takes much courage so press on.  People just need to forgive and understand we’re all different and handle things in different ways.  You’ve been missed by loads of people on here.  Again, glad to see you back at this. 
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: chromesphere on February 01, 2018, 05:28:32 PM
Good to see you back Rej.  We all trip and stumble at times.  Its human. 

If I could offer some sort of help from my own struggles I would say this.  That voice in your head that starts at you "You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have said that, why are you failing, you should be stronger" etc etc.  That's just your mind.  It likes to beat you up when your down and make things even harder.  Dont listen to it.  If those thoughts are not helpful just let them come and go like passing cars.  And just sit with those feelings and view them for what they are.  They become less frightening when you clear out all that "mind chatter".   I know this wont fix your troubles, I wish it could, but its so hard to be helpful from behind this keyboard.

Wishing you all the best mate
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 05:35:39 PM
Good to see you back Rej.  We all trip and stumble at times.  Its human. 

If I could offer some sort of help from my own struggles I would say this.  That voice in your head that starts at you "You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have said that, why are you failing, you should be stronger" etc etc.  That's just your mind.  It likes to beat you up when your down and make things even harder.  Dont listen to it.  If those thoughts are not helpful just let them come and go like passing cars.  And just sit with those feelings and view them for what they are.  They become less frightening when you clear out all that "mind chatter".   I know this wont fix your troubles, I wish it could, but its so hard to be helpful from behind this keyboard.

Wishing you all the best mate

Paul, what you are descibing here is pretty much the reality of things... ...i really like the expression "mind chatter"...

I've realised that once you're able to assume that there's a problem and go forward to "fix it"... ...lots becomes easier, it's less of a burden, but still... ...it's not like fixing a car or an amp... ...it's fixing your mindset and there's no "service manual" for that... ...so far it's probably the biggest challenge i've ever faced. Reason being is that i would have needed help way before i collapsed this past summer... ...i had always thought that i was strong enough to get over that by myself due to the many situations and plot twists that have occured in my life so far, i then realised that all those things i had went over, yes i went over but i did'nt all fix them correctly... ...and it catches up on you.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: chromesphere on February 01, 2018, 05:47:14 PM
That's the thing that really sucks about anxiety and depression.  You kind of have a inkly that there is something wrong but your caught up in life and it goes untreated...or you think you have it under control, but you dont see the storm brewing...until you realize its there and you have a big problem :(

Its ok though, I really think its just part of being human.  Try to be kind to yourself Rej.  Your mind is always offering "chatter".  It just bombards you with negativity at a time that you need it the least.  For some reason humans like to BEAT THEMSELVES up when they are down.  Be kind to yourself.  And just accept these feelings for what they are.  They are far less scary when all that b*llsh!t is allowed to just flow past you.  Your mind knows how to 'hook you', its an expert at it.  Just let those 'stories' come and go like leaves on a stream.  This is what has helped me in the past.  Its hard to "sum up" in a forum post but I hope it helps you all the same.

And remember, I think it goes without saying, we all care more about your health then GCFX.  Take care of yourself first!

Anyway mate, if you need to chat I'm here, pm me whenever you need.

Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: davent on February 01, 2018, 06:13:21 PM
Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 01, 2018, 06:23:12 PM
Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: Frag Magnet on February 01, 2018, 06:30:35 PM
Holy shit! Good to see you Rej!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: tcpoint on February 01, 2018, 06:57:27 PM
Glad to see you back.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: culturejam on February 01, 2018, 07:07:55 PM
Welcome back, mon frere.  ;D
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: pickdropper on February 01, 2018, 07:13:29 PM
Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

On the bright side, you and I won’t have any bitter arguments about who’s going to win the Hawks/Habs Stanley Cup final.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: alanp on February 01, 2018, 07:29:23 PM
Very, very glad to see you back, Rej :)

We need more enclosures with angle-grinder marks on them, around here!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: davent on February 01, 2018, 07:32:02 PM
Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

Yeah, i can't watch anymore, I was thinking along the lines of lacing 'em up and getting out on the ice, always good medicine for me.

dave
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: timbo_93631 on February 01, 2018, 07:45:24 PM
Hey Rej,
    I had my bad time too, serious depression and a mental freakout that lasted for the better part of two years.  I had some things here and on OSG that I needed to fix once I came back from it, and even the persons who I had the most fear of contacting/making amends with over it ended up being wonderfully supportive in the end with all but a few exceptions, and they were basically indifferent.  Coming to terms with failure, and picking back up from it, was one of the best things that happened in my life.  I came across this and it really helped build my internal morale, I reread it from time to time and just really take heart in it, very encouraging:
Quote
If
by Rudyard Kipling
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!



It is really really really good to see you are back.  Now about those Lumens...   ;D
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: matmosphere on February 01, 2018, 07:53:39 PM
Welcome back Rej! Good to see you again.

Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough go of things lately. I’ve been there, it’s no fun.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: BryGuy on February 01, 2018, 08:33:08 PM
Welcome back!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: midwayfair on February 01, 2018, 09:29:52 PM
Welcome back, brother. Sorry you had a rough time but good to know you're finding help.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: flanagan0718 on February 01, 2018, 11:20:19 PM
REJ!!!! I am PUMPED that you are posting again. I swear some of the funniest posts I’ve read here are from you, Brian, and Forest!
On a different note, there are so many things in this life that make it hard. I’ve dealt / not dealt with depression and the “not dealing with it” makes it much worse. 9 million people could say that to you too but you will never understand it until you figure it out for your self. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s even harder to confront. Plus having someone say “I think you’re depressed” makes it worse too. I was seriously worried and wanted to reach out many times. But I know what it’s like to want to be left alone too. I am happy you are getting help and getting treatment. I also would like to offer an ear if you ever need one. I am looking forward to seeing you around here more often.
Please feel free to let me know if you ever need anything at all.

KEEP SLAYING THOSE UNICORNS!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: Tremster on February 02, 2018, 03:46:45 AM
Welcome back!
There seems to be quite a number of people on here who know depression and anxiety, myself included. So no need to explain yourself, Rej. Good to have you back.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: juansolo on February 02, 2018, 03:55:20 AM
Glad you're back dude, you've been missed.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: Rockhorst on February 02, 2018, 05:37:04 AM
Good to hear from you Rej...and good to see all these people commenting on it. Nice community here, as Paul noted in the other thread. Best wishes and best of luck getting back on your feet.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: peterc on February 02, 2018, 06:03:03 AM
Hey Rej

Welcome back buddy, hope your new job is a bit warmer than your last....

 8)
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: TNblueshawk on February 02, 2018, 07:29:14 AM
Hey Grindy! I've mostly lurked the past few years and would wonder where you were at. I'm sincerely glad you are back in the fold and doing what clearly is a passion of yours. I can't say from personal experience what hell on earth is like as I have never suffered from depression. What I can say is I've experienced a front row seat with my wife starting a few years ago. Hers started from her physical issues that snowballed into mental issues. She is great now and has come out of it for the most part. But for about 2 years that was a rough ride and it tested me and I learned a shit ton. We will have been married 31 years this year so our bond was tight and I felt her pain as much as one can in my shoes. And then I would think about myself and how tough it is to say and do the right thing and then I'd stop and say, to hell with that, what she is going through is a thousand times worse so suck it up dude  :)

I say all this to say I'm a great listener if you want to PM me. I can also ramble on aimlessly into the abyss if you need that too  ;D
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: micromegas on February 02, 2018, 01:12:45 PM
Nice to have you back Rej!

I am sorry you are going through a rough patch but also happy to hear you are doing what you can to sort it out, that first step is worth much more than what it may seem.

If you need anything don't hesitate to ask for it!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 03:47:16 PM
Welcome back, mon frere.  ;D

Merci, je l'apprécie vraiment! Sorry for my "radio silence", i was'nt comfortable at all, due to the situation so i instead stayed isolated in my dark little corner... ...i regret that part a lot...

Although i had some "news" from you via Facebook and seeing that Charlotte is growing into an amazing child! :)

Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

On the bright side, you and I won’t have any bitter arguments about who’s going to win the Hawks/Habs Stanley Cup final.

Yep... ...no sports team ego battle will occur...!  I would have prefered it that way!  ;D



Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 03:59:15 PM
Hey Rej,
    I had my bad time too, serious depression and a mental freakout that lasted for the better part of two years.  I had some things here and on OSG that I needed to fix once I came back from it, and even the persons who I had the most fear of contacting/making amends with over it ended up being wonderfully supportive in the end with all but a few exceptions, and they were basically indifferent.  Coming to terms with failure, and picking back up from it, was one of the best things that happened in my life.  I came across this and it really helped build my internal morale, I reread it from time to time and just really take heart in it, very encouraging:
Quote
If
by Rudyard Kipling
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!



It is really really really good to see you are back.  Now about those Lumens...   ;D

Thanks man, that quote was a good reading! ...and yes! Lumens! May the light rise again!


REJ!!!! I am PUMPED that you are posting again. I swear some of the funniest posts I’ve read here are from you, Brian, and Forest!
On a different note, there are so many things in this life that make it hard. I’ve dealt / not dealt with depression and the “not dealing with it” makes it much worse. 9 million people could say that to you too but you will never understand it until you figure it out for your self. It’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s even harder to confront. Plus having someone say “I think you’re depressed” makes it worse too. I was seriously worried and wanted to reach out many times. But I know what it’s like to want to be left alone too. I am happy you are getting help and getting treatment. I also would like to offer an ear if you ever need one. I am looking forward to seeing you around here more often.
Please feel free to let me know if you ever need anything at all.

KEEP SLAYING THOSE UNICORNS!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks mate! Speaking of unicorns and their tears.... ...I've found some to be slayed in the performance automotive hobby aswell... ...even if i was'nt slaying in the audio departement... ...i was in the mechanical side of my life...

I'll have my complete final product in around 2 weeks.. i'll post it here because it's something i'm quite proud of and was also a source of motivation to keep me going forward. Took 7 months of R&D, prototyping machined parts, breaking the electrical code of car ECU, etc....  ...and... ..that sort of new venture of mine is called "NFG Performance"... pretty sure you can guess what NFG stands for... lol

Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: blearyeyes on February 02, 2018, 04:01:17 PM
What does NFG stand for?  New Ford Geep?
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 04:12:04 PM
Glad you're back dude, you've been missed.

Thanks John, i've missed you, when i saw your posts about leaving all social media and that you then vanished... ...i litterally fell like the "link was broken".... ...wich also forced me to grab my shit together and go forward so i don't loose contact with you and Cleggy.

Hey Grindy! I've mostly lurked the past few years and would wonder where you were at. I'm sincerely glad you are back in the fold and doing what clearly is a passion of yours. I can't say from personal experience what hell on earth is like as I have never suffered from depression. What I can say is I've experienced a front row seat with my wife starting a few years ago. Hers started from her physical issues that snowballed into mental issues. She is great now and has come out of it for the most part. But for about 2 years that was a rough ride and it tested me and I learned a shit ton. We will have been married 31 years this year so our bond was tight and I felt her pain as much as one can in my shoes. And then I would think about myself and how tough it is to say and do the right thing and then I'd stop and say, to hell with that, what she is going through is a thousand times worse so suck it up dude  :)

I say all this to say I'm a great listener if you want to PM me. I can also ramble on aimlessly into the abyss if you need that too  ;D

Thanks John!  I remember couple years ago on the BYOC forum, when thing where starting to take off for me as a builder that you wrote: "Please don't forget us if you ever get big"... ...well i kinda went the opposite of that but that reply have been going round & round in my head when i truly realised that i was loosing it... ...all those people that have helped and support me in my quest and that i was now letting everyone down... ...it's those reminders that for me, makes the difference in the sum of things... ...i have not forget and trying my best to stand-up in front of those who have put their trust in me.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 04:15:15 PM
What does NFG stand for?  New Ford Geep?

Hahaha! Don't put Ford in there, it will wreck everything!  :P

"No Fawks Given"

When i first posted on some facebook pages my project, i got bashed in a very disrespectful manner and been threaten with law suits and stuff like that... ...for in the final... ...that other buisness did'nt have any patent or whatever to base their "menace" on.... ...so that name came by itself... ...a bit like a Catch22 ;)
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 04:20:54 PM
Again, thanks everyone for the support and positive vibes!

So yeah, there's currently an issue in bringing back the site online, looks like the host deleted everything, we have older backups, so it might take a bit more time than expected.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: juansolo on February 02, 2018, 04:22:32 PM
Glad you're back dude, you've been missed.

Thanks John, i've missed you, when i saw your posts about leaving all social media and that you then vanished... ...i litterally fell like the "link was broken".... ...wich also forced me to grab my shit together and go forward so i don't loose contact with you and Cleggy.

You can get me here via PM, or via iMessage. I'm gone from Facebook and am not planning on returning. Let me know when you've got your stuff sorted man and we'll shoot the breeze and what have you. Also, got a few things for Grind when/if that gets up and running again. Again, no rush, you get yourself right, that's what's important right now.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: blearyeyes on February 02, 2018, 04:25:44 PM
Glad you're back dude, you've been missed.

Thanks John, i've missed you, when i saw your posts about leaving all social media and that you then vanished... ...i litterally fell like the "link was broken".... ...wich also forced me to grab my shit together and go forward so i don't loose contact with you and Cleggy.

You can get me here via PM, or via iMessage. I'm gone from Facebook and am not planning on returning. Let me know when you've got your stuff sorted man and we'll shoot the breeze and what have you. Also, got a few things for Grind when/if that gets up and running again. Again, no rush, you get yourself right, that's what's important right now.

+1

Find yourself some peace Rej.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: LaceSensor on February 02, 2018, 05:18:34 PM
You were definitely missed, sir.
Looking forward to GCFX being up and ready when you are.
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: TheDude on February 02, 2018, 08:49:39 PM
Welcome back Rej!

As a relative newbie here I view all the designers as sorts of legends, and your return is like seeing one of the great ones come out of retirement. Glad to hear you're on the up and up, even if some days that way up seems to be a bit steeper than others. Can't wait to see what you've been working on in your time away.

Sent from my LGLS755 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 02, 2018, 09:11:52 PM
You were definitely missed, sir.
Looking forward to GCFX being up and ready when you are.

Thanks mate! I really should box up that fully populated DoppleGanger of yours ya know...!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: Stomptown on February 02, 2018, 09:24:11 PM
Welcome back Rej!  You’ve definitely been missed!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: GrindCustoms on February 03, 2018, 07:26:05 PM
Welcome back Rej!

As a relative newbie here I view all the designers as sorts of legends, and your return is like seeing one of the great ones come out of retirement. Glad to hear you're on the up and up, even if some days that way up seems to be a bit steeper than others. Can't wait to see what you've been working on in your time away.

Sent from my LGLS755 using Tapatalk

The Dude, you seem like a cool dude! :)

I'd say that i'm more of a "project manager"... ...i'm no wizard like all these other bloody brilliant guys on here! haha

But thanks!

Welcome back Rej!  You’ve definitely been missed!

Thanks Jon, gotta say that i'm also very happy that i came back... ...missed all of you guys!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: diablochris6 on February 03, 2018, 09:57:22 PM
Glad to hear that you are rising from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix. I pray that you find and cling to whatever it takes to help you reconstitute your mind, body, and soul. Depression is a swift kick in the pants, and it can be a daily struggle to overcome it. Just remember, you've got a ton of folks on this board who care about you and are willing to hear you out.

Looking forward to seeing what awesome builds you will put out this year!
Title: Re: ....and here I am now...!
Post by: stringsthings on February 03, 2018, 10:42:33 PM
Wow.   Just read the thread from page 1.

Firstly, let me also welcome Rej back to the forum.  Although I haven't build a GrindCustoms project,
I also consider those that design PCBs in the highest regard.  It's not a trivial skill.  And so many congrats
on fighting that depression.

Secondly,  I'm so impressed with everyone's responses to Rej returning to us.  It's beyond awesome to be
a part of this group.

3rdly, while I don't like talking about it, I've been dealing with bipolar disorder ( also known as manic-depression )
for most of my adult life.  So, in the hope that it may help someone out, dealing with this has been the hardest thing,
by far, in my life.  Literally, it took me decades to come to grips with it.  Fortunately, attitudes toward mental health
have improved since I was a kid.  I think there's more opportunities for people to get help.

And lastly, I'd like to thank Rej and everyone here for helping me out by just being who you are.