Thanks everyone, I appreciate the conversations.
I think you have c1 on the 5v side rather than the 9v side of the regulator. Not sure if that matters
I did this intentionally, since I am usually taking 9V from the main PCB and there is always power filtering, reservoir caps, and a protection diode. I can try to remove it. It also wasn't on the BB.
looked at it a few minutes, which way is the relay connecting the circuit? IF the relay is a straight back and forth, like positions 3,4 connecting same time as 7,8 maybe 3,4 are swapped? or is it a rocker type connection inside? The 1 on the BB might be the rocker type but is the 1 on the pcb as well?
My understanding of the relay from the data sheet is that it is a rocker, basically two SPDTs between 2,3,4 and 7,8,9. I'm wondering if there is a difference in current between the BB and PCB. Since the magnetic field in the coil is proportional current. Maybe adding a transistor in the next version would help.
I noticed Brian's Softy has a transistor at the relay, but it looks to be configured as a switch rather than a current amplifier. Also, I know others have gotten this to work without one.