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Would you help my with my translation?

Started by micromegas, March 26, 2015, 02:07:20 PM

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micromegas

I'm preparing my application for several master programmes and some of them ask for a recommendation letter.
My master thesis' tutor doesn't write english so I offered myself to translate his letter.
I've tried to do it as faithfully to his words as possible ussing similar expressions but I may have comitted some mistakes (it's not that easy to translate from spanish to english when using formal expressions).

Maybe some of you whose mother thongue is english could have experience with these kind of letters and help me improve it (in form, not in content).

Thanks in advance!!
Here it goes (I get red as a tomato every time I read it but I suppose that's a good thing with a recommendation letter):

Quote
To whom it may concern,
By means of this letter, I would like to express my recommendation for D. Adán Luis Benito Temprano as part of his application to the [master's name] programme, offered by [Name of University].

Both as Adán's  instructor in Communications-Electronics and Radiofrecuency Technologies courses, as well as a tutor for his final Research Project "Outphasing Transmitter with Parallel Class E Amplifiers",  I only have positive things to say about him as a student.  Adán has always proved to be an independent and capable student, displaying exceptional skills and knowledge in the RF field as well as in Signal Processing and many others. He was one of the most outstanding students in the aforementioned courses, displaying  very active participation and thus getting high academic results. Furthermore, as a fruit of the work developed during his Research Project, state of the art results have been achieved. These results will allow us, not only to offer a competitive solution useful for related industry, but also lead to a publication in a prestigious journal.

Moreover, my references regarding the professional and personal atmosphere couldn't be better.  Adán takes his work very seriously and has shown a remarkable ability to strive toward the highest level performance. He is also a creative thinker and can provide innovative ideas and solutions to the problems that may appear during lab and research tasks.  During the development of such tasks, Adán has made himself very valuable in small-group interaction with his peers. The friendly and supportive attitude he displayed throughout the development of this activities makes him a good candidate for the inclusion in a working team.

In light of the foregoing,  it is a pleasure for me to recommend him to the mentioned master and to your distinguished institution.

'My favorite programming language is solder' - Bob Pease

Software Developer @ bela.io

midwayfair

Quote from: micromegas on March 26, 2015, 02:07:20 PM
To whom it may concern,
By means of this letter, I would like to express my recommendation for D. Adán Luis Benito Temprano as part of his application to the [master's name] programme, offered by [Name of University].

Both as Adán's  instructor in Communications-Electronics and Radiofrecuency Technologies courses, as well as a tutor for his final Research Project "Outphasing Transmitter with Parallel Class E Amplifiers",  I only have positive things to say about him as a student.  Adán has always proved to be an independent and capable student, displaying exceptional skills and knowledge in the RF field as well as in Signal Processing and many others. He was one of the most outstanding students in the aforementioned courses, displaying  very active participation and thus getting high academic results. Furthermore, as a fruit of the work developed during his Research Project, state of the art results have been achieved. These results will allow us, not only to offer a competitive solution useful for related industry, but also lead to a publication in a prestigious journal.

Moreover, my references regarding the professional and personal atmosphere couldn't be better.  Adán takes his work very seriously and has shown a remarkable ability to strive toward the highest level performance. He is also a creative thinker and can provide innovative ideas and solutions to the problems that may appear during lab and research tasks.  During the development of such tasks, Adán has made himself very valuable in small-group interaction with his peers. The friendly and supportive attitude he displayed throughout the development of this activities makes him a good candidate for the inclusion in a working team.

In light of the foregoing,  it is a pleasure for me to recommend him to the mentioned master and to your distinguished institution.

>in the RF field as well as in Signal Processing and many others

"in the RF field, Signal Processing, and many others" ("as well as" means "and." Say "and." This is the editor in me talking, not a translation note.)

>He was one of the most outstanding students in the aforementioned courses, displaying  very active participation and thus getting high academic results.

Assuming "results" here means your grades: "He was one of the most outstanding students in the aforementioned courses. He was a very active participant and received high marks." (Or grades instead of marks.)

>Furthermore, as a fruit of the work developed during his Research Project, state of the art results have been achieved.

"Furthermore, state of the art results were achieved through the fruits of his labor on his research project." ("Labor" is more idiomatic in this expression. Otherwise just some syntax changes.)

>These results will allow us, not only to offer a competitive solution useful for related industry, but also lead to a publication in a prestigious journal.

If it's already been published: "These results will allow us to offer a competitive solution useful in related industries and were published in [a prestigious journal]." Name the journal if you know. If it hasn't been published: "These results will allow us to offer a competitive solution useful in related industries and will be published in a prestigious journal."

>Moreover, my references regarding the professional and personal atmosphere couldn't be better.

I think this is how it's meant: "Moreover, I have only the best impressions of his professional and personal attitude."

>Adán takes his work very seriously and has shown a remarkable ability to strive toward the highest level performance.

"Adán takes his work very seriously and has shown a remarkable ability to strive for the highest level of performance." (just idiomatic changes)

>He is also a creative thinker and can provide innovative ideas and solutions to the problems that may appear during lab and research tasks.

"He is a creative thinker and provides innovative ideas and solutions to problems that appear during lab and research tasks." (You don't have to change that sentence, but this version is less wordy.)

>During the development of such tasks, Adán has made himself very valuable in small-group interaction with his peers.

"During the development of such tasks, Adán made himself invaluable in small-group interaction with his peers."

>The friendly and supportive attitude he displayed throughout the development of this activities makes him a good candidate for the inclusion in a working team.

"The friendly and supportive attitude he displayed throughout the development of these activities makes him a good candidate for inclusion in a working team."

micromegas

Thank you Jon! I'm updating it right now.
'My favorite programming language is solder' - Bob Pease

Software Developer @ bela.io