The Totally Epic Klon Thread of Awesome About Swearing

[alanp]

I just realised we had a thread about swearing without the 'Bugger!' ad. So here you go.

[nzCdog]

lol.  great ad

[juansolo]

LOL at that advert!  

It has come to my attention that our brothers across the pond are failing to correctly pronounce the excellent swearword that is tw@. Look we can overlook your overuse of the letter 'z' (zed, not zee), but this causes me to wince when I hear it used on US TV shows (Rescue Me) and the films (The Descendents). Thankfully it's pretty rare.

It's tw@ not twot. I have no idea what a twot is. But a tw@ is a c**t. But more commonly here it's the act of hitting something, or in the case of getting (royally) t**tted, becoming inebriated. Of course someone can also be an utter tw@. With the 'utter' it becomes more of a statement rather than an insult.

For an example of how it's delivered correctly we need a scouser, the best dialect for this particular word:

Though to be fair, on our own little island, cockneys have been pronouncing c**t irritatingly forever. "You fakking caaaaant!" ...I can't what?

[raulduke]

Here is a stocking filler for you all for Xmas:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rogers-Profanisaurus-Das-Krapital-34/dp/1907232907/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353339308&sr=8-1

and here are a few examples:

Dog's arse – To be troubled with wind, as in: "Excuse my wife. I'm afraid she's got a dog's arse today, Your Holiness."

Dragon food – Chocolates bought for her indoors when one is in the bad books.

Eros – Pose that must be struck when urinating in a toilet with no lock.

Hotel toast – A girl who used to be hot.

Hunt for brown October – The act of seeking out and destroying a U-bend U-boat with a bog brush.

Injury time – Dying seconds of a football match where the losing side throw caution to the wind. Hence the last record in a nightclub.




It is serisously one of the funniest things you will ever read (if you are not easily offended, and are of an indecent, toilet-humour, based persuasion... which lets face it.... we are  ).

[DutchMF]

That, raulduke, is most certainly hilarious! To give this thread a bit more international appeal, I'm going to look for the best example of dutch swearing I can find.... Well, not right now, because apart from working, spending time on this forum with you wankers (yes, the one that started it all.....) and gripping my soldering iron on the wrong end, I remembered I actually play guitar, in a band! So off to rehearsal in a bit, but be prepared for a lot of consonants you all cannot pronounce.....

Paul

[atreidesheir]

I have something to add, but I am late to the conversation:

The six fingered man (Tyrone) killed Inigo's father.
How did I never see this before... the diy connection.

The son of the killer of Montoya Sr. is


NoelGrassy
God Help Us All.

[atreidesheir]

Back on topic, I love the insult generator.
http://www.insultgenerator.org/

Or if you are feeling especially King James-ish
http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html
The Shakespearean Insult Generator.
Excelsior!

[jkokura]

Uh... the CFL Playoffs start this weekend. Go Argos?

Jacob

I dunno, the Argos didn't impress me much in the finale. Although, they did't have much to play for.

The Argos will beat the Esks, the Stamps should pummel the Riders.  Whether or not it will end up being the Braley bowl will depend largely on

1) If Kevin Glenn gets the start against BC, Calgary loses
2) If Braley buys out the Als to get both his teams in the 100th Grey Cup in the center of the universe.

Thank god Bieber's doing half time, I'll have at least eight minutes to go to the bathroom without fear of missing anything I'll regret later.

I love how this thread has spread out like chaos theory.

I was calling Argos vs Stamps at the beginning of the year, so I think I'll stay with that now. Argos might win with home field advantage...

Jacob

Called it.

Jacob

[juansolo]

Ah, had Rogers Profanasaurus back in the day. A most excellent tome.

[GermanCdn]

Called it.

Jacob
[/quote]

That you did.  Totally missed the boat on KG (I'm a die hard BB fan, and the days of him continually throwing pick sixes into coverage ws soul destroying).  Dickenson called a fantastic game for the Stamps.  Bratton's lucky he plays for the Als and not the Riders, the game tying touchdown hits him square in the numbers and he can't catch it.  McCallum got the truckloads of horsecrap for missing a field goal, pretty sure if he was in Green and White, they'd have strung him from the lights at Mosaic.

I'm calling a blowout game by the Stamps next weekend, unless Isaac or Belli are specifically instructed to injure the QB (which is a very plausible scenario).

[jkokura]

Nah, it'll be tight and Argos will take it.

Home field advantage, and all three elements are firing on all cylinders. Hard to beat Ray on a role, and nobody is more dominant than Owens right now.

I think the Stamps have better defence as long as Watkins doesn't play or isn't %100. Also, Nik Lewis consistently blows my mind with how strong he is with the ball in his hands. But I think Ray will out play Glenn like he did Calvillo last week, and when you're throwing an average 400 yards a game...

Key to the stamps game will be either eliminating Ray, Owens or both from the game. Key for the Argos is shutting down Cornish and keeping the penalties/turnovers to a minimum.

Jacob

[GermanCdn]

Last time the Stamps played a home team in the cup, they handed them a pretty convincing loss, at that was at the Big O, which has a lot better/louder fanbase than Rogers.

Lewis'll have a big game, because the entire Argo defense is going to have to key in on Price and Bryant, or it's going to be long ball TDs all day long.

Cornish will outplay Owens, Chad's going to get his usual fumbleitess going.  Ricky's a great QB, but Simpson's back, and he'll be on his back most of the game.

And Huff and Dickenson will outcoach Milanovich and Jones, Chris'll be crying and wishing he hadn't stabbed the Stamps in the back in the off season. 

But I've been wrong before.

[bigmufffuzzwizz]

Damn I'm about a month late to this amazing anti-klon parade. Maybe cause i was in Belgium drinking that awesome beer. Abbey ales are great, but what about lambics brewed in the brussels area? 
And on that note dutchmf next time I'm in holland we are going out for beers!

[juansolo]

Reminds me, I'm booked in for Spa at the end of July. Still no date for Zandvoort, but if there is one, I'll have have a beer with DutchMF.

Oude Kreik is the only lambic I like. But I REALLY like it a lot and will be picking up a crate of it when I go to Spa now someone let me know where to get it. This thread has been most useful in that respect

[DutchMF]

Seems like there is a lot of beer-drinking in my future....  Let me know if you go to Zandvoort Juan, we'll arrange a mini-piss-up!

Paul