....and here I am now...!

[chromesphere]

That's the thing that really sucks about anxiety and depression.  You kind of have a inkly that there is something wrong but your caught up in life and it goes untreated...or you think you have it under control, but you dont see the storm brewing...until you realize its there and you have a big problem

Its ok though, I really think its just part of being human.  Try to be kind to yourself Rej.  Your mind is always offering "chatter".  It just bombards you with negativity at a time that you need it the least.  For some reason humans like to BEAT THEMSELVES up when they are down.  Be kind to yourself.  And just accept these feelings for what they are.  They are far less scary when all that b*llsh!t is allowed to just flow past you.  Your mind knows how to 'hook you', its an expert at it.  Just let those 'stories' come and go like leaves on a stream.  This is what has helped me in the past.  Its hard to "sum up" in a forum post but I hope it helps you all the same.

And remember, I think it goes without saying, we all care more about your health then GCFX.  Take care of yourself first!

Anyway mate, if you need to chat I'm here, pm me whenever you need.

[davent]

Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

[GrindCustoms]

Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

[Frag Magnet]

Holy shit! Good to see you Rej!

[tcpoint]

Glad to see you back.

[culturejam]

Welcome back, mon frere. 

[pickdropper]

Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

On the bright side, you and I won't have any bitter arguments about who's going to win the Hawks/Habs Stanley Cup final.

[alanp]

Very, very glad to see you back, Rej

We need more enclosures with angle-grinder marks on them, around here!

[davent]

Great to hear from you Rej!

All the best going forward, one day at a time!

Time for some hockey...
dave

Thanks Dave!

Hockey... ...i don't even know why i still watch Habs games... ...my hope for whatever great where vanished couple weeks ago, i guess i'm still watching just to see if at some point they're able to play.

Yeah, i can't watch anymore, I was thinking along the lines of lacing 'em up and getting out on the ice, always good medicine for me.

dave

[timbo_93631]

Hey Rej,
    I had my bad time too, serious depression and a mental freakout that lasted for the better part of two years.  I had some things here and on OSG that I needed to fix once I came back from it, and even the persons who I had the most fear of contacting/making amends with over it ended up being wonderfully supportive in the end with all but a few exceptions, and they were basically indifferent.  Coming to terms with failure, and picking back up from it, was one of the best things that happened in my life.  I came across this and it really helped build my internal morale, I reread it from time to time and just really take heart in it, very encouraging:

If
by Rudyard Kipling
('Brother Square-Toes'—Rewards and Fairies)

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,   
    And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!

It is really really really good to see you are back.  Now about those Lumens...   

[matmosphere]

Welcome back Rej! Good to see you again.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough go of things lately. I've been there, it's no fun.

[BryGuy]

Welcome back!

[midwayfair]

Welcome back, brother. Sorry you had a rough time but good to know you're finding help.

[flanagan0718]

REJ!!!! I am PUMPED that you are posting again. I swear some of the funniest posts I've read here are from you, Brian, and Forest!
On a different note, there are so many things in this life that make it hard. I've dealt / not dealt with depression and the "not dealing with it" makes it much worse. 9 million people could say that to you too but you will never understand it until you figure it out for your self. It's not an easy thing to deal with and it's even harder to confront. Plus having someone say "I think you're depressed" makes it worse too. I was seriously worried and wanted to reach out many times. But I know what it's like to want to be left alone too. I am happy you are getting help and getting treatment. I also would like to offer an ear if you ever need one. I am looking forward to seeing you around here more often.
Please feel free to let me know if you ever need anything at all.

KEEP SLAYING THOSE UNICORNS!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Tremster]

Welcome back!
There seems to be quite a number of people on here who know depression and anxiety, myself included. So no need to explain yourself, Rej. Good to have you back.